Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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