I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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