I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize