Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
