Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
