you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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