Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
