as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3