The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"