Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
