I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wear drunk well.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
