my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
