I smell stomach acid.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
