dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
