yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize