Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
