Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He felt like a one man threesome
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
