When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
