btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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