Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
