I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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