I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
