I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
