i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
