ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
