i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
