the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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