Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
