i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
