I need to stop coming to work sober
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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