Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize