threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize