Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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