He is such a slut. More and more my type.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
