I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
