I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
