At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
