I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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