No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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