I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
