So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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