It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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