you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
