roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
