i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
