WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
