How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
