My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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