walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
