but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
