Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
