But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
