I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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