I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
