He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We have started to decorate penises.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
