protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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