tell your sister to shave her snatch
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
