tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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