jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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