"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize