eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
