We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
