I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
