He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize