I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
